i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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