Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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