You're completely useless in the revolution.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
i out mim tonsoeep
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