A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
dude i'm inner monologue high
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
please don't ironically join a cult
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