No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Randomize
