So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
