she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
