Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
