I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
