He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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