That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I don't �care how much you're grieving �a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.�
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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