so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
