After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
