Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
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