So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
