I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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