Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize
