One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
