I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
