I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
