i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
