Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
