Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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