to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
