just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
