Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
