He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
