Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Dick very happy bro
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
