from now on my penis is your penis
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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