But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
