mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I just gargled with NyQuil
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
