You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
