I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
