Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
