Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
