Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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