just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
