Say something about gay babies.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
