Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Your dad touched me again.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize
