Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
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