ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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