yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
