Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize
