I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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