if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
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