But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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