k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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