Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
