She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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