dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
